If there is a common link among Voltaire, Franklin, Mozart, Descartes, and Shakespeare, I would imagine that it is a deep seated affinity for lawn mowing. I get all of my best ideas while mowing the lawn, and those men were all really good at having the best ideas. I find that lawn mowing requires just enough focus so as to prevent laboring over a thought to the extent of exhaustion or loss of enthusiasm, but is rhythmically repetitive enough to allow the brain to flow freely while the body is on semi-auto pilot. There is no pressure to come up with anything good, because, after all, you aren’t the CEO of a Washington think tank, you’re mowing a damn lawn. Anything else that comes of it besides shorter grass and burnt calories is icing on the cake..........
I am amiss in not mentioning John Adams with the aforementioned lawn mowing luminaries. I’m reading a biography of Adams this summer (this will be deemed the third gayest thing about me, aside from the red pants and making out with dudes) and am thoroughly impressed. Well written in a scholarly, but not professorial tone by noted historian/author David McCullough, I have found out some awesome things about Adams that I’d like to pass along:
He was the primary drafter of the Massachusetts Constitution, the longest standing constitution IN THE WORLD!!! In spite of the fact that I was drilled from a young age to believe that the New York State Constitution was the primary influence of our nation’s governing document, (potentially an example of educational bias) the very structure of the United States Constitution was taken from Adams' creation, which included a preamble and a declaration of rights. Adams called for a governor, a judiciary, and a two house legislature, an early nod to the importance of the separation of powers. The two house legislature was of particular importance to Adams, who judged an ambitious aristocracy a greater threat to the democratic process than a strong executive, and therefore explains why he felt the legislature needed an additional check upon itself. This ideology eventually distanced him from some contemporaries like Thomas Jefferson, who was wary of a strong executive and favored a smaller government. That is, of course, until he became President, and proceeded to double the size of the country, unsuccessfully attempt to invoke “executive privilege” to get out of testifying against Aaron Burr (who he accused of treason in the first place), and create an executive order against blacks being letter carriers, in spite of the fact that he banged his slave Sally Hemming so often that Bill Clinton cited Jefferson as the “president I patterned my extra marital sex life after. “ Great dude, that Jefferson.
While keeping the home front in order by writing tons of love letters to his wife Abagail, Adams turned his hotel room into a 1780s version of the Young Money tour bus while on extended diplomatic missions in Europe. Adams is the captain of the “underrated pimps team,” with co-captain Buddy Holly, and additional teammates Napoleon and Ghengis Khan, (pretty much picked from their massive empires) and Ramses II, who reportedly sired over 100 children and erected nearly as many pyramids.
Adams is totally misrepresented by history as a bland, bookish douchebag. Though he had a temper and was the pre-eminent legal scholar in America, Adams was a certifiable badass. While on diplomatic voyage to England, his naval ship became embroiled in a heated battle with a British war vessel. The captain implored him to stay in his quarters below the deck, but only minutes later he saw Adams up top, musket in hand, firing shots at the enemy and yelping commands at young soldiers. On another occasion, his sea transport to Spain from Britain was going to be delayed three months, so he was like “fuck it, I’ll go over the Alps on horseback because I’m John Adams, my cousin Sam Whiz makes moderately listenable hip-hop and I’m a G”.........
Its getting harder for me to justify my “Kobe v A-Rod” comparison. Through high school, I always considered them pretty similar: supremely talented, supremely vain, too focused on money and personal accolades, and, as the primary offensive option on a playoff team, more likely to amass gaudy stats than hardware. In the last couple years, though, A-Rod’s image seems to have really regressed, and Kobe seems to have elevated his historical status from “remarkable scorer, petulant child” to “remarkable competitor you’ll tell your children about”. The big difference seems to be that A-Rod’s biggest flaws (inability to deal with pressure, disingenuous nature, selfishness) were all legitimized by the most significant development of his career, his admission to PED use, while Bryant’s flaws (competitiveness to the point of ridiculousness, need to be “the guy” at all costs, obsession with MJ’s legacy that Bill Simmons deemed “creepy”) almost became positives in the midst of the most significant development of his career, his two championships without Shaq. All of the sudden, he’s driven, he’s clutch, and he’s (fairly or unfairly) being compared to Jordan. It doesn’t help A-Rod’s case that he hit below .270 in four consecutive playoff series in the mid-2000s with the Yankees, while Kobe has built his reputation on being an efficiently durable playoff machine. Simmons noted that Kobe’s ability to re-invent himself after the rape trial as an all business, super focused basketball assassin gave him a cache, an identity, something that A-Rod has never been able to develop. Sure, Kobe still has flaws; anyone who saw Spike Lee’s documentary knows that A-Rod isn’t the only pro athlete who is less than genuine for the cameras, but I think that the 2010 finals are a microcosm of Kobe’s career- classic all around play on both ends of the floor- (28-8-4-2 steals-89%FT), slightly too much chucking (40% FG), unmatched tough shot making in the face of great defense, showed his underrated ability to orchestrate the offense (anyone who thinks Derek Fisher is a point guard and not a spot up shooter who occasionally dribbles the ball up court when Kobe lets him is kidding themselves. Next time you watch a Lakers game this season, notice how many great passes Kobe makes that lead to assists) and one game where it was apparent he didn’t have it, forced the issue anyways in his quest to be the biggest stud in senior hall at all times, hurt his team in the process and had to be rescued by the best big guy in the league. The difference: now he gets it and shows flashes of humility, admitting after the game that he got caught up in the moment, wanted it too badly, and was bailed out by his good friend “the Spaniard. ” (Gasol, who turned in a spirited 19-18). After A-Rod’s absolutely monster 2007 season (.314, 54 HRs, 156 RBI) if you told me that by 2010, he would be taking self awareness lessons from a solidly more productive Kobe Bryant, I’d tell you you were nuts. Sort of like how you’ll tell me I’m nuts when I craft my “Lebron James is still the best player in basketball” blog, coming very soon.....
Lots of people in early rock and roll were not fantastic instrumentalists, in the same way that the people on Jersey Shore are not fantastic scholars. Many people would probably assume Elvis was good at guitar because he was an iconic rock star who, by all accounts, played guitar, never mind the fact he often had it draped around his neck like an ornament and sometimes didn’t touch it for songs at a time. Elvis would not stick out around a campfire on the merits of his guitar playing. Same for Johnny Cash, ditto for Ringo Starr on the drums in his early years (listen to the percussion on “Love Me Do” sometime. Ouch). You know who was not all all like this? Ray Charles. Ray Charles, aside from having one of the most distinct and acrobatic voices in pop music, absolutely murdered the piano and organ. Equally adept at laying down the swaying backbone for a sweet gospel joint or taking the listener on a joyously meandering jazz solo, Charles had total command of his instrument. (Trying to avoid cheap blind joke, still trying, struggling........) This command was doubly impressive, because he couldn’t read sheet music, or anything else. (Damn.)
No comments:
Post a Comment